Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
