Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
