no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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