were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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