Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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