We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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