Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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