I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
