But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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