So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
