Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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