omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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