i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
