Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
