Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
