We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize