porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
