when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
