you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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