She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
