Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
