Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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