we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
