Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Ladies don't puke and tell
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
