I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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