I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
