what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
