apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
