I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How does one acquire holy water?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
