i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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