Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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