I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
