I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
