ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
