Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
