I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
