btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
