i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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