You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
