I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
