Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
