Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
