hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
