I want to have your abortion
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
