In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
