Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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