I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
