you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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