Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You ruined the universe
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
