Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
