What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
