You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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