Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
